That Week……

Ah the week after Christmas, it is like no other.  Unlike other weeks it starts on Thursday or Tuesday as often as it starts on Sunday, this year it started on Wednesday.  The one constant is, it starts the day after Christmas and ends with the beginning of the New Year.

Kids everywhere take advantage of the break from school to enjoy their Christmas stuff; it makes it just a little bit better if it snows.  It was a long time ago for me but I still have fond memories of Christmas breaks when I was a kid.

Social calendars can become difficult to manage because it is a popular week to get together with family and friends.  I know, for me, back in the day it was a heck of a party week.

The business world seems to back off the accelerator or maybe even kick it out of gear and kind of coast for the week.

It is also a good time to review or reflect on the past year and to regroup or refocus and get ready for the new one.  I prefer the terms reflect and refocus, they don’t sound quite as complicated.

There is another “re” word that comes to mind when talking about a new year.  The word is resolve or resolution.  I guess those things work for some people; I never took them very serious and if I made one at all it had normally fallen by the wayside by sundown on New Years day.

For many years I did the “reflect and refocus” thing.  I didn’t make a big deal of it, I just kind of quietly looked back and looked ahead and tried to improve on the way I did some things.  The last time I did that was in 2007.  In ’08, ’09, ’10 and ’11 I reviewed everything I did on a daily, if not hourly, basis.  Any regrouping or refocusing we did was driven by PET scan results or visits with the Doctor; not by some idea I had in late December.

I am once again in a position to reflect on the past year and look toward the new one.  To quickly summarize what I see in the reflection.  The year started with the expected but extremely heartbreaking loss of the best thing that ever happened to me.  Sharyl lost her 3+-year battle with cancer.  A short forty days later Conner was suddenly and tragically taken from us.  As I look in the mirror those losses remain crystal clear.  I love you guys dearly and miss you every day.  The rest of the year is somewhat blurry.  I see a tired old man struggling to refocus, regroup or re something and get things figured out.  I also see a family and some dear friends doing everything they can to help the old man in his effort.

I don’t know what ’13 has in store, I know it could also be filled with tragedy but I like the odds and I am excited (excited might be a little strong) but I am anxious to have a go at it.  I plan to continue to work toward getting things figured out and put back together.  I have made some progress; I’m not the basket case I was in the spring but I still have a long way to go.

To be a little more specific; about five months ago one of my posts contained the following paragraph.

During the latter stages of Sharyl’s illness, to pass some time on sleepless nights I would dwell on things I needed or wanted to do.  Three recurring things were: lose some weight, get the yard back up to our specifications and enjoy some time at the lake. For about the first four months I really didn’t care how I looked or how the place looked and I didn’t have fun if I went to the lake.

I have learned to enjoy spending time at the lake.  The place still needs some work, but I have made some progress and procrastination is not the problem.  The weight loss thing isn’t going well.  I said I didn’t have a timetable as long as the trend was down.  The trend has been down, but I need to pick up the pace.  At the rate I’m going I will be at least 107 years old when I reach my goal.

I know that just because I turn the page on the calendar things won’t suddenly be okay.  I expect the first two or three months of the New Year to be a continuation of the past couple months.  I also believe this time next year the reflection I see will be much brighter than the one I see tonight.

I had a very brief post in mind when I sat down tonight.  I guess I got a little carried away.  I hope your New Year meets your expectations.

Please remember me when you say your prayers and consider a donation to the cancer research organization of your choice.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave.

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3 thoughts on “That Week……

  1. There is another re word. It is realize. I have come to realize that life goes on no matter what has happened in the past, and we pray each day that the future holds better things for us. That has been mankinds prayer ever since I suppose there has been mankind. I truly believe there are better days ahead for all of us.

    Gary

  2. Wow, Dave! You are so good at this. I hope you never stop blogging. You’ve helped me and countless others, just by sharing our grief. I feel a little “lightness of heart” right now. I’m going to embrace it as fully and as long as possible and not feel guilty about it. I hope you can do the same when these lighter moments surface.

    Happy 2013!
    Love, Lu Ann

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