Luke (my youngest grandkid) and I were at a Mexican restaurant for dinner. The waiter brought our drinks, Luke had a Sprite and I had ordered water but I got water with lemon. Sharyl and I usually ordered water with lemon, I don’t like lemon with my water and Sharyl liked more than the one small slice so I gave her my lemon. I was caught off guard, it would do nothing for the taste of Luke’s Sprite, and I didn’t know what to do with the slice of lemon.
I know it is a silly little problem; I am just using it as an example of the kinds of unexpected little things I have encountered as I continue the transition from we to me. The restaurant was a favorite place for Sharyl and I to take Luke and I knew it could be emotional because the two of us had never been there without “Maw Maw”, but we like to eat there; and the rest of the family are not big fans. We enjoyed the meal, Luke didn’t know about the lemon and we plan to do it again.
It has been just over two months since we lost Sharyl and just over a month since I last posted to “Mom Life Cancer”. I feel a need to resume “blogging”; this time it will be different. The content will be random; imagine that coming from me, and there will be no schedule, maybe every day and maybe monthly. The other blog was started with you in mind, to let you know how Sharyl was doing. This one will be for me, I need the release; I hope I can do it in a way that you can enjoy reading it.
Since we last talked our life has been flooded with additional heartache. Forty days after Sharyl’s death Conner’s life came to a tragic and sudden end on March 2nd. At some point I’m sure I will share more of my inner feelings relating to both losses and my “take” on how they have affected our family. Today all I will say is I have never hurt like I did following Conner’s death, it caused me to question a lot of things and search for a reason to continue. That reason was pretty simple, I have a baby (yeah I know she is forty something) and other family members that need all the support I can muster. For a while I had to remind myself to “breath in, breath out, repeat” and to “place one foot in front of the other, repeat”. We are functioning; some days are better than others. None of them are good yet, but maybe some good ones lie ahead.
Oh yeah almost forgot; I just left the lemon slice on the rim of the glass; the busboy probably tossed it in the trash.
Yes I still need and appreciate your prayers.
Good Night and God Bless.