The list of observations and adjustments continues to grow as I transition to a one-person household. As I share with you I will try to keep it lighthearted and limit venturing to the emotional side; not only is that difficult to put in words it is also very personal, and yes every day is still an emotional struggle.
About two years ago, because of Sharyl’s insistence (a couple other words came to mind first but we’ll go with insistence) I purchased some hearing aids. As usual she was right, I should have gotten them ten years ago. I won’t go into detail just believe me life was a lot more pleasant with the new hearing devices.
If there is nothing to hear you really don’t need hearing aids, I’m not much of a daytime TV watcher so after Sharyl’s death and I was home alone, some mornings I wouldn’t remember to put them in. About the first time I ventured out was a trip to Seminole to have lunch with Sharyl’s co-workers. I left a little early so I had time to turn around at Tecumseh and come home and get my other set of ears. Even though there is nothing to hear I now remember to put the things in every morning.
Sharyl and I have always taken pride in the appearance of our home. Most of the time it wasn’t “yard of the week” nice but it might have placed on any given week. The last three years we had other things higher on the priority list; the yard didn’t look bad but it didn’t look like our place.
During one of our many conversations after it became pretty evident that she wasn’t going to beat the cancer thing I told her that in a reasonable amount of time I would get the yard (about 2 acres) back to her specifications. I sure wish I had had the foresight to find a diplomatic way to exclude the flowerbeds.
Throughout the years my help with the flowerbeds was limited to initial construction, some springtime tilling, you know “power tool” type stuff and maybe carrying some bags of mulch and dumping them where she told me. I never helped with the planting and routine maintenance and can’t tell a periwinkle from a petunia. I don’t have what it takes to enjoy pulling individual weeds by hand.
One of those emotional moments I said I would stay away from: last year Lori, Steve and all three of their kids came out and did the front flower bed, Sharyl felt like sitting on the porch and giving her support along with a little instruction. It is one of those lasting memories I will cherish.
We have five of those flowerbeds; I think Sharyl was planning for her retirement. With the spring rains to say they needed attention is an understatement. Monday I knew I had to do something, Sharyl would have been very proud of me for weeding them however, I don’t think she would have approved of me using the biggest gas powered weed eater I own to do the job. At one point I actually looked over my shoulder and shed a tear, just at the thought she might be watching, veering toward the emotional side again.
I think I’m going to eliminate two of the beds and see if Monkey Grass will grow in the other three; I’ve heard it will choke out the weeds.
Please keep me in your prayers and consider making a donation to “Relay for Life” or the cancer research organization of your choice.
Good Night and God Bless.