I am probably in over my head with this one. That certainly won’t be a first, so here goes.
I haven’t had a very good week, actually the past 2 or 3 haven’t met my expectations and I have learned not to set those expectations very high. I have spent some time trying to understand why. Is it the fall weather i.e. shorter days, longer nights or the thought of facing the winter holidays without two members of the family?
Those things probably contribute but I think subconsciously I feel I should have moved to the next plateau by now.
I think emotional plateaus are similar to the geographic kind, reasonably level with subtle highs and lows including a few unexpected bumps. The transition from one plateau to the next makes the emotional kind unique.
The move to a lower plateau can be and usually is sudden and catastrophic like stepping off a cliff, thankfully, God usually places some family and friends near the bottom to help break the fall and to soften the landing.
The transition back to a higher plateau or level is a much slower and deliberate process. The stairs or ramps that get you there are hard to find and the incline is not steep, making progress toward arriving at a new plateau difficult to detect.
I have stepped off three of those cliffs in the past four years, the details have been previously documented, in fact that is the reason I blog. The one in November ’08 was completely unexpected, I didn’t really try to find the stairs to climb back up because it was highly probable there was another one ahead, although it wasn’t unexpected it came this past January and was much more catastrophic. I thought I had arrived at the bottom; don’t ever make that mistake, believe me, there can always be another cliff.
I had found some slight inclines and was making a little progress back up the hill, and completely unexpected, in early March, I stepped off that third cliff. If there is a plateau lower than that one, I don’t want to think about it and I sure don’t want to go there.
I spent the next few weeks reminding myself to breathe and to place one foot in front of the other. The next few months I found an occasional ramp or set of stairs and by summer I had reached a higher plateau.
I thought by now I would have progressed to still another level; maybe I’m just impatient. I don’t think this is as good as it gets, I fully believe higher plateaus are out there; I just wish I could find that next set of stairs.
I’ll be okay, thanks for listening and keep me in your prayers.
Good Night and God Bless.
When I find that set of stairs, I’ll call you. Until then you are in my prayers.
Thanks for posting.
Wish there was something I could do to take it all away. Think about all of you and praying for you.
Life is like geography. I never really thought much about that before. There are low valleys, yet there are mountains high with glorious peaks, and yes there are ups and downs between. One of the places I have felt closest to God is in Yellowstone National Park. Beautiful valleys, rivers, lakes, majestic mountains, firey displays of power, and animals of all kinds in abundance. I feel a calmness in me when I am there, and a sense of awe in some spiritual way. I leave Yellowstone feeling more at peace with things than I did before, and I think a better person. I have never been there in the winter, but I hope to someday soon.
I am sure you have a ” Yellowstone ” somewhere. Go there as often as you can, wherever it maybe.
YOU are in our prayers, and WE are your friends.
BOOMER SOONER BEAT NOTRE DAME !!!!
my pastor recently did a sermon on finding peace….. he suggested minute vacations….. go someplace you really like…… his was a fishing spot…. and stay there just briefly……. it isn’t a stair case, but perhaps a respite….. there is no easy way….. but you are right, there are better days ahead …..as always you are on my prayer list….
Thinking of you and praying for peace in the days ahead.
I do know things will get easier to bear. My dad used to do an old Hawaiian toast at weddings, etc. I didn’t really understand it as a child. He would say, “May the happiest day of your past be the saddest day of your future”. I get it now.
I find it so easy to follow your train of thought and appreciate your willingness to openly examine what you are going through. Keep marching along and I will keep praying.
Dave, praying for you today. I think you are really helping the ones of us who haven’t stepped off the cliff (at least the ones you mentioned) yet. I appreciate you sharing your heart. Kaye