Do You Need A Laugh????????

I know I was just here last night and I am back again.  This isn’t the “from the heart” stuff I referred to last night. In fact it is far from it.

If you remember a few weeks or probably months ago I talked about having car fever.  The reason for that fever belongs in the “from the heart stuff”, so I won’t go there tonight.  A few weeks ago I cured the fever the only way I know how.  I traded the Chrysler Pacifica that had served me well but no longer fit my game plan. My daily transportation is now a ’08 Chrysler Aspen (I’ve been a Dodge/Chrysler guy for many years); the Aspen is a full size SUV. I have had two incidents, since I started driving the thing, that are too funny not to share.

I have a locking mailbox; I keep the key on the ring with my car key.  A procedure I have used many times the past few years is to stop very close to the mailbox just like the mail carrier.  I then turn off the ignition remove the key, unlock the box, get my mail, lock the box, start the car and pull up the drive.  A simple process and the old fat guy doesn’t even have to get out of the car, unless he is careless and drops his keys.

Yes, I dropped the things, I could see them lying beside the car but I was too close to the mailbox; the door wouldn’t open wide enough for an old fat guy to get out. There was just one option; simply get out on the other side. Some vehicles have a console that flips up or at least is not much taller than the seat, not this thing; it doesn’t flip and it isn’t short.  Even when I was young, flexible and 50 pounds lighter climbing over it would have been a challenge.  I made it without breaking anything (me or the car).  I now had the key but was still too close to open the door.  I had to crawl back over that console.  If any of the neighbors were watching they didn’t laugh loud enough for me to hear.

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A couple evenings ago I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things.  When I came out it was raining. I just had two small bags so I jumped in the front seat and about half tossed the bags into the back, one of them turned over and the stuff was now between the seat and the right back door.  If I opened the back door from the outside the stuff would fall some of it would break, some of it would bruise. This one would be easy; I got out of the front and got in the left back. I closed the door because it was raining.  I retrieved the stuff and got it back in the bag. 

I also discovered the previous owner of my Chrysler had kids; no I didn’t find crayons or French fries.  You know those childproof locks; my back doors wouldn’t open.  I couldn’t get out.

I just thought crawling across that console was tough.  I think I would like to have video of the old fat guy getting between the seat backs and over that console to the front. I made it without breaking anything.  I deactivated the locks in the rain before I went in the house. This time it was dark and raining, I think my neighbors have enough sense to stay in out of the rain. I hope so anyway.

This afternoon it occurred to me that I could have reached in the front turned on the ignition and rolled down (we don’t really roll them down anymore do we?) a rear window and opened the door from the outside.  Oh well I guess I needed the exercise.

Just another example of why I need your prayers.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

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6 thoughts on “Do You Need A Laugh????????

  1. Well I have had my laugh for today! Enjoy the new transportation! We enjoyed the evening Thursday,food was great and the time to visit was too!

  2. Well, I always thought you were high tec doing all your own rodieo electronic stuff. Now we know the truth.
    You better stick too buying the old “GOATS” with no door locks and just “EMANUAL” stuff
    HAHA- Richard

  3. I’m not sure I would tell all this!!@!
    I laughed till I cried. The only thing that would have made it funnier, if I had been there watching.
    If your neighbors saw any of it—they are probably on their knees praying AND laughing.
    Thanks for the laugh–I needed it.

  4. I have done the crawl over the seats from the back due to child proof locks myself. It REALLY made me feel intelligent !

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