Almost three weeks ago, I wrote about having a little case of the crud. I was sure I would be back on my feet in a couple days.  I am about 99% back; the timetable just exceeded my estimate by 15 or so days.

I’m not sure what went wrong.  Maybe after 5, sick-free, years I forgot how to handle a little discomfort, or the years have taken a toll on my toughness or maybe, just maybe I had a real bad case of some really tough crud.  I am going to go with number 3.

Did I seek medical attention?  No, there are medical professionals and facilities all over town, some of them are even open 24/7, but it was just a little cough and congestion and I was sure it would be better tomorrow. I think I made honorable mention for Walgreen’s customer of the week. I guess I was finally right; it is better.

I kind of took care of my self and didn’t do anything real stupid.  There may be one exception; I am not going to talk about it today in fact I may not talk about it all.

Potato soup has always been a “make it feel better” meal in our family.  One night I wanted some potato soup real bad, almost bad enough to go to the kitchen and make some.  I could have made a couple phone calls and had some potato soup but remember that pride I speak of from time to time.

The stuff bounced around a little and some days were better than others.  I took advantage of a couple of the better days and enjoyed the foliage in southeastern Oklahoma and just a little over in Arkansas.  I have always affectionately called that part of the world Lapland, where Arkansas laps over into Oklahoma.  Maybe I pushed it a little with that run but fall colors don’t wait until you feel better.  It was cloudy in the morning and rained most of the afternoon but the colors were beautiful and I had a great day in spite of the crud.

Somewhere on the Talimena Drive

It was the first time I had been to Talihina, Mena, Smithville, Beavers Bend and Broken Bow in years. The Branding Iron restaurant in Mena, Arkansas is worthy of a little of your time if you venture down that way. I had a great co-pilot.  Thanks, Patty, for keeping us between the lines, finding The Branding Iron and for tolerating my cough.

Five years ago this month the comfortable little world in which I had resided for many years experienced sudden, drastic and permanent change.  That change although no longer sudden and drastic continues to evolve.  I have managed to tuck the very personal and very private memories of November ’08 away in a special place in my heart and see no advantage to you or me if we share them again.  I think you understand.

Please keep me in your prayers and God Bless.

Dave

Gradual Change might be more appropriate for the title, but it isn’t often I get to use a word with a silent B; especially when that silent B isn’t preceded by an M.  I know of two others.

Some words used to define subtle are: delicate, elusive and obscure, I think those are somewhat descriptive of the change I have experienced since I sat here about a year ago and used Plateaus as a title.

I talked about the sudden drop to a low emotional plateau and the slow and difficult climb back up that emotional ladder to a higher level.  I closed that one with the following words:

I thought by now I would have progressed to still another level; maybe I’m just impatient.  I don’t think this is as good as it gets, I fully believe higher plateaus are out there; I just wish I could find that next set of stairs. I’ll be okay,

I have taken a hard look in that proverbial mirror the past few weeks and I believe there has been subtle but significant progress.

Some examples of the little things:  For a very long time I went to bed at night, not because I wanted to, because I knew I needed to rest. A lot of mornings I wanted to assume the fetal position and lay there indefinitely.  I got out of bed because I knew I had to continue to put one foot in front of the other. I didn’t get up because I wanted to.  I now go to bed because I am tired and want to get some sleep, I get up in the morning, excited is probably a little strong, I’ll go with interested to see what the day has in store.

A year ago I went to Luke’s (Luke is the good looking one in the middle) musical programs because I knew I needed to and I was supposed to.  Sharyl and I went to a lot of them together; she enjoyed each one of them; I probably endured more of them than I enjoyed.  I went to this one because I wanted to and I enjoyed it.

I went to the ballpark last week to watch my favorite lefthander, I went because I wanted to and yes I enjoyed it.  Was it as fun as when WE went to watch THEM play?  No, it probably will never be, but that is no longer an option.  The important thing is I went I had fun and look forward to the next trip.  For you baseball guys he looked good and threw 5 strong innings in an inter squad game.

I crossed the Red River to watch Braxton lift some weights. This kind of competition is new to me.  I don’t know enough about it to be a vocal fan.  I am sure Sharyl would have figured it out and been hoarse from cheering by the time we left.  The important thing is I went because I wanted to and I enjoyed being there.  He qualified for nationals.

I didn’t spend time with Rylie.  I’m sure she was studying, isn’t that how all college freshmen spend their time.  She will always be my favorite grand daughter.

To all of you, for listening when I wanted to talk, for talking on those rare occasions when I wanted to listen and for understanding when I wanted to do neither.  THANK YOU!

I know there are more tough days ahead but tonight I feel comfortable closing this one with: I don’t know if higher plateaus lie ahead, I hope so, if not, I am comfortable and content for the first time in a very long time.  I think I can change my frequently used “I will be OK” to “I am OK.”

Those other two silent B words are debt and doubt.

Keep me in your prayers.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

There was no standing ovation, no victory trot around the stadium, no fanfare of any kind. A streak quietly ended at my house today. I don’t know for sure when it started; we don’t keep that kind of records; I know it was more than five years ago.
During Sharyl’s illness the one constant request in my nightly prayer was for the strength and health to care for her as long as she needed my help. I didn’t get the answer I wanted to most of my prayers during that time but that one request was granted and for that I will be forever grateful.
Disregarding a minor “back tweak” a few months ago that slowed me a little I didn’t have a down day. The streak ended today. I am sick, nothing serious, just a case of what I call the crud. I am not needed much anymore but if someone would have needed me today they would have been out of luck.
I am kicked back in my recliner doing this on the iPad. I just don’t have the energy to take the four steps over to a real computer and keyboard.
I’m not complaining about today, just taking a different approach to express my appreciation for the five good years. The elderly aren’t usually so fortunate.
I should be back on my feet in a day or two. I have one of those “from the heart” things spinning. I sure don’t want to attempt it on the iPad. If I don’t misplace my notes maybe I can get it to your side of the keyboard when this crud goes away.
Good Night and God Bless.
Dave

I started to name this thing “Quietly Positive” or “Positively Quiet”.  If you are bored and have 30 minutes or so to spare sometime check those two words in the dictionary.  I became confused and just called it “Nothing Much”

I really haven’t broken the blogging habit.  Since I wrote that “Line in the Sand” deal and challenged myself to concentrate on the positive.  It has been mostly positive but quiet at Dave’s house and that is where I’ve been.

Summer has slipped away and early indicators point to a short fall (shortfall sounds a little like my budget) or early winter. Fall is my very favorite season.  The only downside is those gray days, like we had last week, serve as a reminder that winter is approaching.

Fall is a great time of year to fish, piddle around outside, run up and down the road looking for or at foliage or maybe even burn a brush pile.

Awe; I did have a little excitement.  Last time I got home from here, yes I am at the lake again.  My homeowners association had busted me for having a brush pile in the yard.  I thought they were a little picky and used a very broad interpretation of that covenant; it didn’t talk about brush piles.

I didn’t argue or make an issue of the notification; at least I haven’t yet.  I am not in contention for yard of the week but I didn’t intend to leave the brush pile there.  I have probably burned more brush piles than most of those guys have seen.

There is a way and a time to burn them and there is a way and a time not to burn them.  To me burning one is more of an art than a science.  You need to let the stuff dry, it doesn’t burn good when it is green.  You definitely pick a day with little or no wind and in Oklahoma that is a real problem especially when you like to fish on those kinds of days.  When you light it you don’t go do something else, you baby-sit it.  There is always some adjusting to do.  When the thing finally burns out I don’t want to see a piece of anything bigger than a tennis ball unburned.

It was strictly coincidence but a couple days after the notification the weather cooperated and the biggest remaining piece of the pile is no bigger than a tennis ball.

Using that tennis ball reference reminded me of something I have always found interesting and kind of amusing.  The references used to define the size of hail and the size of tumors.  Little bitty hail and tumors share “pea size”. When they grow just a bit hail is compared to coins i.e. dime size, nickel size until it gets as big as a ping-pong ball, then tennis ball, baseball and softball size.  I hope I don’t ever hear about basketball size hail.  Fruit is the standard for measuring tumors larger than pea size.  I have heard of grape, and then we seem to use the citrus varieties lime through grapefruit size and occasionally some as large as melons are discussed.  I have never heard of lemon size hail or a tennis ball size tumor.  I wonder why that is?

I made my routine semi annual or is it bi annual (I go every six months) trip to the doctor this week.  He was at a loss for words as he usually just tells me to lose some weight and get more exercise.  I have done both of those things so he was a little confused; I took advantage of the situation and did most of the talking.

I had to go to the lab for some routine blood work. The phlebotomist was a friendly and attractive young lady approaching her 30^th birthday. I don’t know how her birthday became part of the conversation.  She had a difficult time pronouncing the name of my street; I think it was because she had this big pin thing through her tongue.  About the time she finished drawing the blood (she was very good at that) she asked if I had ever done any Public Address announcing.  My voice is a little unique, so I field that question from time to time.  I told her, many years ago I did some rodeo.  She got excited and told me she is a barrel racer.  My last rodeo was more than a year before she was born and I don’t think barrel racers had deals in their tongues then.  There is a bond even if one is old and gray and over the hill and the other has a pin in her tongue and other visible body piercings. I don’t think her next patient was as excited about this common interest as we were.  We talked for a few minutes.

If you are still reading I’m not going to ask if you think the title fits.

Please keep me in your prayers, just because I didn’t mention the tough days don’t mean they don’t exist.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

I’m doing this on my iPad. I hope we see a picture of a loaf, minus one small piece, of Banana Nut Bread to die for. If you were here with me you would see one of the greatest exhibitions of willpower you have ever witnessed. If not for that willpower the pic would be of a plate with maybe a few crumbs.
My neighbor is one heck of a cook and she likes,to share some of her specialties, one of which is, you guessed right, Banana Nut Bread.
During Sharyl’s illness she frequently appeared at our door with an assortment of good things to eat. She is probably directly responsible for at least 10 of the 40 or so pounds I gained during that troubled time. She sent her husband with the bread this evening, just as I was browsing for just a little something to top off a dieters dinner.
One small piece and a cup of coffee kind of topped off the dinner. I think if I write long enough I will forget about wanting another small piece.
While I am here and talking about food I guess I should give you an update on my little attempt at losing some weight. I think it has been almost 3 months since we visited about that. There is a little good news and a little bad news. The bad news. I haven’t lost any weight the last three months. The good news. I haven’t gained any. I am trying to convince myself it is all part of the plan; to relax and eat a little of the good stuff to see if I can stay at my present weight. The truth is I need to gather the willpower to get tough and lose another ten or so pounds.
I better go back to the kitchen and make sure I put that Banana Nut Bread away.
Too early for Goodnight so God Bless and pray that I leave the bread alone.
Dave

No, I’m not challenging you.  I am challenging me.  The challenge is to learn to write about the routine good or fun things that are part of my life.

My introduction to blogging came at the worst of times. I cut my teeth writing about medical diagnoses, physical pain, medications and treatment plans.  As I became more comfortable at the keyboard I started to include some of the personal experience or emotions I faced helping the love of my life battle to see one more sunrise.

Lori and I did about 300 of those during the next three years.  It was somewhat routine, but it wasn’t about good things or fun things.  Maybe that style became a habit.

Still under the heading of the original blog, “Mom Life Cancer”, I did a short series on the forty something years Sharyl and I spent together before cancer.  I think I would enjoy doing that now.  At the time I did it nothing was fun.  I think those of you who read it enjoyed it and the therapeutic benefit I received was valuable.

I took a short break and about a year and a half ago I started this thing I call “Random Thoughts”.  I thought I just had a writing habit and needed to write.  In retrospect I realize I hadn’t even scratched the surface of the grieving process.  Most of the early stuff I wrote was from deep within the heart.  I think sharing it with you through this old keyboard was my way of dealing with the grief.  If I didn’t write it might still be down there. Thanks again for listening.

I have written about shopping carts and cream gravy and dogs named blue and some other very random stuff.  But I still have a habit of writing about the not so good days.  I can have four good ones and one bad one and the blog will center on the bad one.

I owe it to my old friends, new friends, close family and extended family that have helped me get better, maybe not good yet, but better. I need to share my thoughts on the fun things that are again part of my life.

I’m not planning to start a daily journal.  I’m not going to tell you I changed my oil, cut the grass and did some laundry today and tomorrow I get to buy groceries and wash the car.

I’m going to tell you I spent a little time with some of those extended family members one of them is a precious 89 year-old.  She had just come in from four hours on the lake.  We had some Red Velvet cake and sugar free ice cream and some conversation.  I think she was ready for me to go so she could get back on the water.

I’m going to tell you about spending a couple hours on the water alone.  I didn’t catch any fish but I had a heck of a good time and I fully expect to catch some fish next time I go.

I’m going to tell you about a trip to a fast food place with one of those new friends.  We just wanted a salad.  If you are wondering, some fast food places make a pretty good salad.  It is one of those “you had to be there” deals so I won’t give you details; just believe me when I say it has been a while since I have participated in that kind of fiasco.  It has probably been even longer since I have had that kind of a belly laugh. I had forgotten there are two kinds of tears and how good tears of laughter feel.  We did manage to get out of the place without embarrassing ourselves.  I don’t think the staff even knew there was a fiasco.

I think those last three paragraphs were a step in the right direction.  Maybe I can meet that challenge.

This is the third consecutive night I have pounded the keyboard.  I probably need to give the thing a break but I will be back.

Thanks for all you do and please say a prayer.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

Is it OK if I vent?  Allow me to rephrase.  I am going to rant; after all it is my blog I don’t have to ask.

This morning I was driving close to the posted 50 mph speed limit near a school.  An older guy, not as old as me, driving a large SUV passed me.  He was doing at least 10 to 15 mph above the posted limit.

He had a few of my pet peeves (bumper stickers) on the bumper and rear window. The big bold one that got my attention said “TEXTING KILLS”.  I got news for you buddy; speed also kills.  I didn’t see a sticker condemning excessive speed.  I didn’t see any reference to eating, reading, shaving, emailing, playing on Face Book or Twitter, putting on makeup, combing the hair, slapping the kids or sleeping.  All those things endanger others, why did this guy single out texting.  Maybe he couldn’t find a bumper sticker for any of that other stuff.

It has become extremely popular to raise hell about texting while driving.  I think it is a form of age bias; the naïve believe that only kids text and drive.  I sometimes speed and yes occasionally text a little bit.  The difference between me texting and my granddaughter texting:  She does about 30 words a second and it takes me about 30 seconds to do a word.  I have probably been guilty of doing most of the things I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

We shouldn’t need laws to prevent those things, common sense should cover it, but we are talking humans here.  There are specific laws for speeding; the other things are covered under one called “inattentive driving” or something like that. Inattentive driving is a secondary offense.  It is only enforced if you are detained for another reason.

The legislative bodies in several states, Oklahoma included, already have or are considering laws to make texting a primary offense.

When those laws are passed and the policeman stops me for texting, I just explain to him I wasn’t texting I was updating my status on Face Book or answering my email or maybe in my case writing a blog post. He apologizes and sends me on my way.

I think those elected officials should step up and make inattentive driving a primary offense, but then my senator would lose my vote because I would need to shave and eat breakfast before I got behind the wheel. He thinks the kids that text aren’t old enough to vote anyway.

Thanks for listening; I feel better.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

I needed to write last night.  I wanted to write last night.  I did write last night.  What I wrote just didn’t make it to your side of the keyboard; if I didn’t empty the recycle bin it may still be in there somewhere.  What I wrote was a little too personal and probably invaded the privacy of some people I love very much.  I did one of those from the bottom of the heart things that probably would have filled a total stranger’s eyes with tears.

I think I’ll take a second and empty that recycle bin; we don’t want that thing to get out of there.

You see, yesterday marked the 22^nd anniversary of Sharyl and I becoming members of one of life’s greatest fraternities.  We became grandparents.

A year ago I spent number 21 with Cale in Morgantown, West Virginia.  I think the 1,000-mile separation helped shield me from the emotional impact.  I felt it full force yesterday.

Last year as I left Morgantown the following 3 paragraphs were part of my blog:

 Wednesday morning I looked in the rearview mirror as I merged with traffic on Interstate 79; I didn’t see the hilly town with the crooked and narrow streets.  When Morgantown became a city it wasn’t about north, south, east and west.  It was about following the terrain and getting from point A to point B, that practice has continued.  It really is a pretty town.

I saw a reflection of the past 21 years.  I saw the good times and the other times, a lot of smiles and also the tears.  I saw a young man of whom I am very proud.  He was on his way to class to continue his education, then to baseball practice to pursue the dream, and maybe some dinner about 8:30.  I said a little prayer thanking god and his mom and dad for the young man he has become.

I looked through the windshield, and yes I saw the Appalachian Mountains, the fall colors just beginning to evolve, but my focus was on the future.  I saw a family; a very close-knit family beginning to regain their emotional balance and footing and learn to walk again. With god’s continued help I am confident we will be OK, never the same but OK.

We have made some progress.  The road hasn’t been smooth, there have been bumps, detours and dead ends but our balance and footing are better than they were a year ago.  As I said last year: With god’s continued help I am confident we will be OK, never the same but OK.

Everything I said about Cale still applies.  He now attends class and throws the baseball at Oklahoma City University.  Sometimes eight months rest for a tired arm can work wonders. This appears to be one of those times.  I would like to say “Go Chiefs” but I guess I better be politically correct and current and say “Go Stars”.

I looked at a bunch of pictures yesterday.  I hope it’s OK if I share a couple.

As always, please remember me in prayer.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

I have been to the Fairgrounds in OKC on numerous occasions the last thirty years.  I have gone to fishin’ tackle shows, car shows, ball games, computer sales, and tennis shoe sales . . ..  I got the timing right last week and made it there when the fair was in session, I think the last time I did that was in the very early 80s.  Sharyl wasn’t a big fan of the fair and I could take it or leave it, so we just kind of quit going.  I probably owe the girls an apology for that too.

I’ll get back to the fair in a second.  I just heard David Letterman say: “I’m not as smart as I ought to be for as much talking as I do.”  If we change “talking to “writing” I believe that would apply to me.

As a wide-eyed 7^th grader I rode the big yellow bus to my first state fair in ’54; it was also the first year the fair was held at the present location.  We arrived early and stayed late, I don’t remember but I am sure the entire day cost me less than twenty bucks.  This year I stayed about 3 or 4 hours and spent $18 for a corndog, lemonade and a cinnamon roll, if I would have gotten pecans for the roll it would have taken the entire twenty.

For the next 15 or 20 years I usually fit a trip to the fair into my schedule.  Those visits became more expensive and without going into detail they also became more exciting.  Just a couple examples; one year I lost a day’s wages trying to win a three dollar teddy bear for my date.  Another time I lost my lunch trying to impress my date by riding the Roto Zip or whatever they called it three consecutive times.  I think the date on both occasions was Sharyl, those of you who knew her know how impressed the always-sensible Sharyl was.

People watching has always been one of my hobbies.  There is no better place than a fair to watch the folks; there is an endless supply of all types.  This year I was there early in the day and I think the ratio of “real interesting” to “somewhat normal” increases proportionally as the day progresses.  That doesn’t mean I didn’t see some of those kind.  I overheard what appeared to be the head of household of one of those groups say:  “We better get going, we have to go put on some decent clothes so we can go to Wal Mart.”

If my memory is correct (no comments please) 30 years ago deep-fried food was pretty much limited to corn dogs and funnel cakes.  I won’t attempt to compile a list of the fried stuff they have now; I think somewhere they sell fried sweat sox on a stick and there is probably a line.  The slogan should and may be “Fry it and They Will Come.”

I only ate the previously mentioned corn dog and roll.  Some of that other stuff looked pretty good but my consumption of fried foods the past few months has been almost zilch.  I didn’t want to risk losing my lunch just walking by the Roto Zip so I didn’t try the fried cheesecake, mashed potatoes or Twinkies.

I bought a wallet from a lady from Wisconsin and a couple signs from some people from somewhere.  I also bought an Aussie hat from a lady from our 50^th state; I may see if it will keep the midnight sun out of my eyes up in our 49^th state.

I went the day after senior citizens day; the admission was higher but all those elderly people didn’t surround me.

I took some pics with my phone, you guessed right I am going to share a few of them.

Last time I was there I rode this.

Ever wondered what made a fountain work? Just add water

I remember when this was a busy place.

Not even noon, a line for fried mashed potatoes.

I think they were left over from senior day. Out of focus but i had to be quick

I think these guys were here in ’54

The pic says it all

It was early

The Hat

Still around

I will probably go again next year; I will probably go later in the day or maybe even on the weekend.  People watching is better.

Please say a prayer for me and consider a donation to the cancer research organization of you r choice.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave

I watch some TV news but my primary source is my IPAD or phone.  The picture is a screen shot of the banner from one of my regular sources.

About the only difference in the two headlines, one of them contains the word elderly.  The other headline nor article mentioned the victim’s age, leaving me to assume he or she wasn’t elderly.  The victim they identified as elderly is younger than me and it didn’t appear as if his age contributed to the accident.  I wondered why elderly was used in the headline.

I always thought elderly was an opinion, a condition or someone at least fifteen years older than me.  I checked my source.  Merriam-Webster says elderly starts at 64; I’ve been elderly for a while and didn’t even know it.  I don’t know if Mr. Webster thought 64 was a good age to be considered elderly or if it was Mr. Merriam’s idea.  Maybe it was hashed out in a conference room, I know I have spent a few days in conference rooms trying to agree on things of similar importance.

In today’s politically correct world maybe if the headline had said senior citizen instead of elderly I wouldn’t have written this post.

A few years ago I saw a church with parking spaces reserved “for the elderly”.  Those spaces were always empty, 85 year-old ladies would rather walk three blocks than to park in a space reserved for the elderly.  If those signs had said reserved “for senior citizens” there would have been a line wanting to know “how old do I have to be to get one of those parking places?”

I think these “elderly” wheels are starting to spin again, all the gears probably aren’t meshing but that has always been a problem.  I spent some time at the fair today.  If those thoughts come together I will try to share some of them.

I hope your day was good.  Please mention me in your prayers.

Good Night and God Bless.

Dave